i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
