the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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