last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Semen is not good for contacts.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
