There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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