and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
