i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
