All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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