I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize