I want to have your abortion
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
