What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Randomize
