i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
