Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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