i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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