I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
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