East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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