do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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