My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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