Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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