i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
MIDGETS
????
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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