Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
