butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I am naked and annoyed.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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