Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
