I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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