I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
