so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
