If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize