lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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