How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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