if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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