trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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