She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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