I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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