she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize