i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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