There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
