i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
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The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
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Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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