I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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