i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
