I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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