This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
