I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
