i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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