Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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