Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
