Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
