Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
