All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize