We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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