South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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