Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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