i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
