Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
