I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I think i peed on brittanys purse
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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