I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
