When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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