"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I'm passing your future prison.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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