I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
