I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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