Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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