Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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