hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
