ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Boobs speak an international language.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
