is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
