the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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